bigger isn't always better

It's been a crazy day in room 118.

So today's nap time is particularly quiet, as our fussy babies get some much needed rest.

4 kids are out, seems no one wants to get out in this weather.

I ran in it this morning. As we left the house, the rooms said "We are those people." We are.

A new student visited with their mother. She said, "I wouldn't call myself a helicopter parent per say..."

at which point I tuned out, because, well, she just gave herself away.

Then, I suddenly wished I was a nanny again. That's happened a few times recently. I miss dealing with one set of kids (& one set of helicopter parents). Not 20. There is a sense of control that comes with nannying, which you will not find in any other child care setting. There's a deeper investment, a true relationship. Even when nanny families are frustrating- and maybe you feel like you're not trusted, it's just 1 set.

The root of my current feelings:

- Sorry she didn't eat ALL her lunch, I was watching TWENTY kids.

- No, I don't know why he took his hat off, there were 2 classes, FORTY 3yr olds, on the playground

- Well, if you had labeled their extra set if clothes then maybe they wouldn't be missing

- Yes, in fact, we do provide hours worth of individual instruction, that's completely possible with 20 students.

- Sorry about those vacation days when you have to find alternative care...I know, it's silly, why would teachers need a break?!

These people clearly need nannies...

when it rains, it pours {and in my life, hails}

Rain, rain, go away!

I am a positive person. I really enjoy my life. I have been blessed in so many ways. Not everyday is rainbows and butterflies but I'm happy. I like where things are going and I have high hopes for the future. Sometimes though, life throws a lot at you...and it's hard to take.
My life is doing that right now but it's kind of in that "I can't believe this is happening, I'm almost amused..." kind of way. I guess that's the best way to experience a crappy week though, right?

To start with, I'm struggling in a couple different personal relationships so my heart, while not completely broken, is still a little sore.
Yesterday (Monday) I found out my great uncle Mac passed away. He's in a better place but the pain is no less real.
Today (Tuesday), my dad called to tell me about funeral arrangements. I couldn't talk, I was dealing with this:
I had a flat tire in the parking lot of our school. It was dark and there was a {freezing} torrential downpour. Oh wait, a TORNADO watch. I don't have triple a or a boyfriend(...who else do you call when you have a flat in the rain?).
I wandered around in the school like a soggy wet stray for a while, spoke to a variety of people and hoped my knight in shining armor would show up. I assume I would have been waiting all night until I saw one of my 3yr olds fathers. They are an incredibly nice family and I just needed to talk to someone I recognized. So I trudged my soggy self into the gym where he was coaching basketball, looking like a hot mess, and desperately asked for help.

He was a bit flustered, but after pulling himself together, he let me use his triple a. Just called them up, said he'd check on me when they were done with practice. Easy peasy. Angel.

I ended up having to call him to come over to the parking lot I was in and wait with his id becasue the aaa people on the phone were being difficult (since, well I don't have aaa)- so he waited in the car with his children while I sat embarrassed in my car.

AAA came, changed my tire, I signed something and we were off.
I am forever indebted to this INCREDIBLE family. I'd obviously LOVE to be their nanny. I said "thank you" about 8 million times and he said "You take care of my baby, of course." That almost caused tears. I have no idea how I'll be able to thank them but I'm going to spend a long time trying. I will be SURE to express my gratitude.

When I finally got home, I did some dishes...
CUT my finger with e KNIFE (small nic, I'm 100% fine).
But really??

Are
You
Kidding
Me?

This is laughable really. I haven't even cried. I'm not that upset. I'm too confused, it's all too bizarre.
But- I am terrified to see what Wednesday has in store for me. Thursday I have a dentists appointment to get 2 cavities filled. Friday will likely be capped off with a space rock falling from the sky and hitting me on the head. Saturday? A drive to Tennessee for a funeral.

So positive thoughts, prayers, karma- whatever suits your fancy- I'd LOVE some sent my way. I have no doubt that when the literal rain goes away and a new day begins, I'll start new and things will be brighter. This week is just a little bump in God's big plan. He has truly poured infinite blessings on my life.
Here's to not losing a nanny or teacher this week!

xoxo,
April

P.S. I also tripped the breaker in my house this morning.

I owe who?

Today at church, the subject was gratitude.
Perfect on the heels of Thanksgiving.
Being grateful gets one a long way.

I think I say "thank you" more than anything else.
I just want people to know they're important.
It's incredibly powerful.
Seriously, I think part of my purpose on Earth is to make sure people feel appreciated.
It's that important to me.

However, it's not important to everyone- people just don't realize it should be. It's easy to think you're being appreciative- or showing it.
Example? Parents think their nannies know. They don't though.
Andy Stanley put it best today, "Unexpressed gratitude communicates ingratitude" & "has the same effect as rejection," amen. When you do not express gratitude you "drive the other persons heart out of the relationship".
[Now, I could go on & on about this in regards to many of my personal relationships, but I'll refrain...] You want your nannies heart to be in the relationship. It makes the relationship.

Say thank you; to your friends, your family, your roommate, your husband or wife, your co worker. You are not entitled to any of it. None of us are. Show gratitude. [Warning: cheesy statement ahead] I think gratitude is the absolute best gift we can give this holiday seasons.

Thank you for reading. I appreciate you.

xoxo,
April

call merry maids

I am not a maid.
I love maids.
My momma's one.
I am not.
I am in the "pick the cheerios off the floor-oh no, you spilled your milk" kind of way.
[ In reference to teaching, I'm a "wipe the tables after snacks/meals- how did you get paint on EVERYTHING" kind of way]

Sometimes, nannies are asked to do some cleaning. Ever popularly phrased as "light housekeeping". Which often means, 'I hate doing dishes', as in 'while you take care of my children also take take care of my dishes' (because sometimes, having 2 dishwashers in your kitchen is so overwhelming {true story}).
Now, don't get me wrong, "light housekeeping" is perfectly acceptable. As long as it stays just that. I do not need to spend more time on dishes than with the children. Even more importantly, nannies shouldn't be doing very much picking up/straightening up for 2 key reasons:
1) Adults should pick up after themselves. None of us live in a castle (or are engaged to Prince William). Take your own shoes to your own walk-in closet.
2) Parents should teach children to clean up after themselves. Finish what you start. Put it back where you got it. Put your dirty socks in the hamper. Close the lid. Take it back to your room.
Get. It. Together.

Cinderella was a princess and she still cleaned.

xoxo,
april

just think about it...

Ok, so being a nanny for the Duggars would obviously be an insane task (see previous post). They'd have to have at least 3...right?

BUT

It can get a little more bizarre...

How about those crazies over on "Sister Wives". I mean clearly, there are enough sister wives to care for the children...plus, like the Duggars, the number of children means a huge age gap; therefore they take care of ( & raise) each other.
If ALL FOUR WIVES decided to work or go on a book tour simultaneously, they'd need a nanny. Weird, right?

Would they advertise that their seeking a nanny for a polygamist family...?
Who would answer that...?
It's true that I find the whole thing fascinating but I don't want to get in the middle of that mess.

What if the nanny became the 5th wife.

Ok, I'm grossed out now...

no weeks notice

I've had something brewing for a while now and it's time I address it...

Last year, when I worked for "the family who sucked my life away" (affectionate, I know) I also had a part time nanny job, to supplement the income [and restore my faith in humanity].

When I gave full-time family the ax, I continued working for part-time family for a while.
Then when I DID get another job, I gave part-time family a 4 week (-ish) notice. Completely respectable, correct?
I sent the notice right before I left town for a week. I came back, checked my email, and the mom graciously let me know they had found a replacement...who "needed" to start right away. So, I was out of a job. I had NO INCOME for more than a month.

Now, let me give a bit of background. Part-time mom knew what a hard time I had with full-time family and had always been a gem to work for (maybe that was just in comparison though). She also knew I was looking for a more permanent job & they could loose me soon. I promised I would give proper notice. I expected the same in return. Too much to ask I suppose.

I was so annoyed (ok, I was pissed) and stressed out that I actually never emailed back.

So now my dilemma is...do I send an email months later to let her know I felt disrespected and she put me in a tight financial spot? Or do I let it go and just move on?

All I know for sure is that they sure didn't need a whole 10 days to lose a nanny...

Let me know what you think :)

xoxo,
April

cry me a river

So occasionally, I poke around the internet and read blogs or forums about nannies- to unblock writers block and such. It's always parents who are complaining, never the nannies. These people are ridiculous.

Some of the subjects I've found recently:
- Nannies eating habits (I struggle with this enough myself, back off).
- The social life of your nanny (see above).
- Nanny cams (do NOT get me started, a different topic for a different day).
- How to keep your nanny happy. I was very pleased to see this :)!

I have a suggestion, instead of using online forums to whine about your nanny, try taking care of your children yourself...

(call me harsh, but know that I DO believe in nannies and what they do. I love nannies, I just think individuals who abuse the privilege simply shouldn't have it).

...I also offer the less harsh alternative of having an actual conversation with your nanny about your concerns. Your nanny is an employee, if there is a legitimate problem that affects your child(ren) address it like an adult. If your just being nosy, grow up.

My second suggestion; if there is a laundry list of problems with your nanny you might have one (or both) of 2 issues. You have some major control issues you need to let go of. As a {recovering} control freak myself, I understand fully but also expect you to let go (it can be done). Second possible issue? If your this uncomfortable with your nanny you did not do enough research before going into this. Read the blogs prior to hiring, check references, run a background check or even try taking a candidate out to dinner (business' take job candidates to lunches and dinners all the time). Get to know your potential employee and that list of anxieties will shrink considerably.

Don't fret mom&dad, a mutually happy nanny-family relationship is possible. For now, let me answer our question (how to lose a nanny in 10 days?) like this: blog about her ;).

xoxo,
April

P.S. Or him. I'll address the subject of mannies (a male nanny, duh) another day.

help!

So my {sweet and supportive} parents work in positions where they interact with a lot of people on the...ahem, wealthier side of...life(?). Tonight over dinner (spaghetti) the name of an individual was brought up, a grandparent...who helps the nanny with their grandchildren.

Hold. The. Phone.

If your nanny needs help you clearly have some parenting issues. The exception being if you have more than 4-ish children (adjust accordingly).
Three children? No.
A nanny can handle it (I did, & they were not easy children).
If you're 3 children are so out of hand grandparent frequently TRAVELS (long distances) to HELP the nanny, then they are out of hand.

** I happen to know this nanny is completely competent and as a former sitter of these children also know they are out of hand.**

How to lose a nanny in 10 days? Well, when she has to call in for reinforcements (regularly) expect a 2 week notice in your future.

xoxo,
April

green with envy

I should be sleeping...but I'm blogging, because I owe my blog some attention. So here it goes...

My dear friend over here sent me a link to this CNN article a few weeks ago and I new instantly I had to blog about it! Mostly becasue of this quote from parenting expert Michelle LaRowe "The reality is that many nannies do have more parenting skills than parents". Enough said.

In the very beginning of this article a mom says she's sad she doesn't get to do the fun stuff with the kids but instead has to do the veggie eating, bath time, teeth brushing, and off to bed routine. Funny thing is, some nannies do that part (I did). It wasn't my favorite...but maybe the family I worked for was going in the right direction. Jury's still out, but I'll give them some credit.

Parents also worry because often nannies can control/discipline children better than parents. The truth is nannies (& teachers) often DO have better control over kids than parents. This is hard to understand for so many parents but so basic. The articel cites that nannies are less emotionally attached, very true. This is a job and we have a task to finish, this isn't our sweet baby boy/girl. Another reason children tend to push less with nannies is because most people are most venerable with family, they always love you. If you're going to push boundaries, it's going to be with family. It's not going to be with your nanny, who uses the words "time" and "out" more than any other human being.

As far as a child loving a nanny more than its parents. Not possible. The article makes this clear enough. We might call them 'our kids' and love them fiercely but there is no bond like the one between parent and child. (If you're really that worried, don't have a nanny).

So parents you go ahead check the worry off your list- nannies, enjoy the fact that your employer might be a tad jealous if you- and we'll all go to bed happy.
Sweet dreams!

xoxo,
April